Friday, November 14, 2014

Marriage Tip #4

“I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

Six extremely powerful, weighted words. Sometimes they are easy to say because we know without a doubt we are in the wrong. Other times they are bitter and hard to get out because we don’t want to be wrong, and our pride is welling up. But these six words are like a healing salve in a marriage relationship.

I can’t even count the amount of times that I have had to come to Zach and tell him I’m sorry, and ask for his forgiveness. I can be quick to speak, slow to listen, and back seat drive just a little too much (but I’ve gotten better!). Sometimes it hurts to say those little words, but other times, it’s incredibly freeing and like a breath of fresh air.

There is no doubt about it, these words are powerful in marriage, and my fourth marriage tip is to freely use these words in your relationship.

Do not be slow to say them and let bitterness grow a root in your heart. Don’t say them insincerely, but actually mean it. Put aside your pride, lay aside your differences and find resolve.

Every day I feel like I’m learning how to love my sweet husband Zach better. Some days I get it right, other days, even after the prayer has left my lips I get it horribly wrong. I am not a perfect person, and neither is he. When you bring two imperfect people into one relationship in marriage, you bring a lot of stuff you have to work through together, and you have to say “I’m sorry” a lot.

But, even though it can hurt your pride to say it sometimes, “I’m sorry” and “will you forgive me” opens the flood gates of healing in a relationship, or can, if you let it. There have been days where Zach and I get started on the wrong foot, and we have to stop, talk through what’s happening, and ask literally if we can just “start the day over.”

Of course we can’t turn back time, but it may quite literally mean just re-saying “good morning” and committing to each other that we are starting on a new foot together.

Marriage has brought out so many lessons for each of us. It reveals how truly selfish we can be, because you are not living for only one person now, you are both one, but you have two people. That causes friction, conflict, and just LIFE to happen.

But the key is to recognize what is going on, to stop fighting each other and fight what the root is. Say you’re sorry, drop it, and move forward. Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. Don’t hold onto things, but let them go and be free with your spouse.

The bottom line…don’t let pride, bitterness, or stubbornness get in between you and the one you love. When something happens, immediately bring it before them if you can, and ask for forgiveness, and let the healing begin.

What about you? Is it hard or easy for you usually to say you’re sorry?

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