As Zach and I approach our one year wedding anniversary this December, I wanted to touch on a few “marriage tips” that we have picked up on and noticed help our marriage grow. Each tip is something that is near and dear to our hearts, and we want to share it with you in case it will help in your own relationship!
And even if you are not married, these tips can be taken into your relationships with those close to you, too! Life is all about relationships, and building them, growing them, and making them stronger.
Our first tip for you is this…
Always be sure to compliment each other.
In a world where we are constantly bombarded with negative news, negative media, negative comments, remarks, and situations, life can start to look pretty glum. It is easy to compare ourselves to others, to look at social media and compare our lives, and feel bad about ourselves. It is easy to notice the flaws in ourselves, and even each other.
But something that is incredibly simple, and incredibly powerful, is a compliment. I mean, don’t you feel good when someone lifts you up and compliments you? When someone notices your hair cut, new pair of shoes, the good job you did on your project at work, when you cooked a special meal…doesn’t it feel great to be appreciated and recognized?
Now just think about how powerful that appreciation and recognition is coming from the person you are closest and most intimate with in your life. To know that you did a good job and they are proud of you is a powerful thing and can push you on to grow yourself.
Zach and I have made it a habit to every night before bed, tell each other one compliment from that day. And our response to the other person can only be “thank you.”
In our culture, it can actually be hard to verbally take a compliment. In our head, we might be saying “thank you” and really appreciate it, but with our mouths we say “oh that was nothing, really…I could have done better.” We have a hard time taking a compliment.
Think about just with women. When you compliment another woman on say, her earrings, she may say, “Oh these? Oh I just threw them on. I got them at Target.” We recognize the compliment, but it can be hard for us to RECEIVE a compliment. We can feel awkward about it.
But you know what? DON’T. Compliments and words of affirmation are powerful, and have the ability to build us up in a way that can give us inspiration to reach higher in our goals and in our lives. Don’t be afraid of it puffing the other person up, freely give compliments with genuine love and sincerity. Take time to study your spouse, notice those subtleties, and point them out with praise!
You never know what it could mean to that person.
So, our challenge to you is this. Make it a goal to compliment each other every day for the next week! It doesn’t have to be at a set time like us, but make a commitment to intentionally compliment each other once a day for a week, and see what happens. Zach and I initially made it our goal to compliment each other for one month, but we just haven’t stopped since then!
Let me hear from you- is it hard for you to receive a compliment, or give compliments?