Marriage Tip #9

Our culture is inundated with technology. TVs, computers, laptops, iPads, iPhones, iTouches, cell phones, smart phones, the list goes on and on and on. They even have little computer screen tablets at some restaurants now. The pace our culture has on being consumed with technology is dizzying sometimes.

My ninth marriage tip is to take intentional time away from technology together. That's right...unplug. On purpose.

This has been inspired in part by that experience at a restaurant with tablets at each table. It seems innocent enough, you could order food, look at the menu. Honestly I was sort of confused by it because I wasn't sure if we were supposed to order from that or wait for our waitress. But what made me more concerned was when I glanced around the restaurant.

There were other couples, families and groups of people huddled around, you guessed it, the tablet. Or one would be on the tablet, the other on a phone. Basically everyone had their eyes on a screen. So Zach and I turned out screen around and put it to the other end of the table and had our own face to face conversation and dinner.

While I use technology and love the convenience and connection it offers, I also recognize that being constantly glued to a screen is not good for your real life relationships, especially with your spouse. Zach and I try to have intentional time where we do not have our cell phones on us. They are in another room, on silent, turned upside down. Or sometimes we will just leave our cell phones at home when we are going out on a date (I know, what?! How do we survive??)

It may seem awkward at first if you're not used to being without your phone. Or feel like you are missing something. You may get "FOMO," or, "Fear Of Missing Out." That is the first clue that there's an imbalance. Face to face quality time with our spouse should not be that way. It should be life giving, fun, and make us grow.

You can decide what sort of frequency is good for you. You might start out with once a month, or maybe turning the phones off on your date, or once a week having a morning with no screens. The important thing is to intentionally set aside the time for it.

Hear me right, I am not saying that technology is evil. I use it every single day. I am using it to write this blog, I use it as a platform to inspire and encourage others, I use it to make new friends and connect to people, and I use it for my business.

But if there's one thing I learn over and over is that there is a proper time and place for it, and there is a proper time and place for there to be a break from it. It encourages you to get out of your shell, communicate face to face, and grow. It can deepen your connection with your spouse, and maybe you'll find something new you both love doing together!

So, set a time, ditch the screens, and find something fun to do together! Trust me, there's lots of fun to be had as a married couple. Just think on it a little bit!

Do you currently have any time that you and your spouse unplug from technology? What works for you? 

Holiday Date Night Ideas

Okay, I know we have done a few date night idea blogs before, but this may be my favorite set. Because seriously, you can’t get much more romantic than the holidays, it’s just oozing with potential for fun ideas!

So grab a pen and paper and your steaming mug of hot chocolate and start plotting some fun holiday dates to do with your honey!

1.    Find a local Christmas event in your area and go to it! Atlanta is a hopping city, and I know there are a TON of free Christmas events going on the entire month. Some old neighborhoods are having candlelight walk through’s, there are square lightings, Christmas tree lightings, stores have pictures with Santa, and basically everywhere is decorated. So find some local events and go to one!

2.    Make your own hot chocolate bar and rent a new Christmas movie. Or find a cheesy Christmas movie to watch on TV! But go get a box of hot chocolate (or make your own home made), some mini marshmallows, whip cream, candy canes, and whatever other treats you want to have for your hot chocolate bar! Set it up on your table and make it look fancy, and then pop in your Christmas movie and snuggle while drinking your hot chocolate!

3.    Go to a local Christmas attraction. Like the first idea, there are probably some great Christmas themed attractions around you! Even when I lived in Arizona, they had zoo lights, a neighborhood decked in lights, etc. Atlanta has Stone Mountain Christmas, Lake Lanier Lights, Olympic Centennial Park is decked out….seriously there are so many options around Christmas. Find a place you both love and go make a new memory!

4.    Go ice skating! Bundle up and find your local ice skating rink, rent some skates and laugh your way through the night. Finish it off with a coffee date at your favorite coffee place to warm up!

5.    Build a fire and make s’mores. Don’t forget the blanket to cuddle under either (but don’t catch it on fire)! Whether you have a fire place, a fire pit or somewhere to make your own fire, grab some s’more fixings and have some fun!

6.    Bake and decorate cookies together. This is a great one to have right at home! Go out and shop for all your ingredients you need to make sugar cookies from scratch, make your dough (but be sure to have a Christmas movie on hand to watch while the dough chills!), then cut out your shapes, bake and decorate! You might end up even having some frosting wars. Just have fun with it (you can always clean up later)!

7.    Drive around and look at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate (or coffee, or cider, whatever you like)! Find some nice neighborhoods that have lots of light displays and cruise on through, admiring all the lovely twinkling lights while staying warm and cozy next to your honey!

8.    Make a no-sew blanket together and then watch a Christmas movie! These blankets are super easy to make (you can check out a Pinterest tutorial here), and are incredibly warm! All you need in two pieces of fleece cut to two yards a piece, then cut and tie it up! Super simple, and it’s something you can keep using!

9.    Decorate a Christmas mug together or make an ornament together. Tap into your creative potential with your sweetheart! Go to the craft store, and pick out a blank mug and some ceramic markers, or get an ornament you can paint or decorate and then go home and have some creative fun!

10.  Trim a tree! If you haven’t already decorated your Christmas tree, make a date of it! Go out to dinner, then either go get your tree or dig it out of the closet, put it up and decorate! Share stories about any ornaments you may have and why you love them. Or you can even pick out a new ornament together and put it on! You can also make your own cranberry-popcorn garland to adorn your lovely Christmas tree.

There you have it, ten super easy, amazingly fun Christmas-time date night ideas! Seriously, this time of year is prime date night time! Don’t skip it just because things are busy. Invest in each other, invest in your relationship, have conversations about what you love about this time of year and make a new tradition with each other!

Take advantage of the whimsy and romance of the season and sweep your sweetheart off your feet with some fun date night ideas. Do you have your own favorite Christmas time date? I would love to hear what it is!

What’s your favorite Christmas season date night idea?

Mr. & Mrs. Holiday "To Do" List

This is my absolute favorite time of year, hands down. God captures my heart in so many simple ways during the season of fall all the way through New Years, but he does it extraordinarily so during the Christmas season.

The twinkling lights make my eyes sparkle, and drinking warm hot chocolate curled up under a blanket on the couch brings warmth to my soul. Things like a crackling fire in the fireplace, watching really cheesy Christmas movies (yes, including the Hallmark Channel), having a Christmas playlist constantly playing from Pandora, and decking our halls with Christmas cheer make the top of my list as well.

Honestly, I could go on forever about all of the reasons I love this time of year, and all of the things I want to do to make it special every day for the whole season. But, as I am here to only write a blog, and not a novel, I will keep it short and concise!

Zach and I will be celebrating our second Christmas together as a married couple this year! We are thrilled to not only celebrate our one year anniversary, but celebrate Christmas as well. So of course that means we have our own “to do” list for the holidays of things that we want to do together!

Here are some of our top ones this year…

1.    Take our one year wedding anniversary “weekend getaway.” Our plan this year is to visit Helen, Georgia! We will be staying at the lodge at Unicoi State Park, where we got married a year ago! The city of Helen is always decked out in lights, so we can’t wait to walk around and make some fun memories.

2.    Visit Stone Mountain Christmas! We don’t live very far from the super Atlanta attraction of Stone Mountain Park, and lucky for us, they do it up BIG for Christmas! This was my first year to go, and I must say, it’s spectacular! If you are in the area, you must go.

3.    Make popcorn and cranberry garland for our Christmas tree. It’s a simple thing, but we found it so fun and it was a cheap way to add some festivity to our home, and a great date!

4.    Bake and decorate Christmas cookies! Both Zach and I love to bake…especially Christmas cookies. We will be making a bunch before Christmas to share!

5.    Have a Christmas ornament exchange party. We did this for the first time this year, and it was an absolutely blast! We set up a hot chocolate bar, had some treats and invited friends and family into our home to exchange ornaments! We will definitely be doing this again next year.

6.    Watch “A Christmas Story”. And many other of our Christmas favorites! But especially this movie…we both love it and it has a special place in our hearts. (“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”)

7.    Have our own Christmas morning celebration. Christmas day this year will be spent with Zach’s family, which is so incredibly special. But we also want to start our own Christmas day traditions too, so we will have our own small little Christmas celebration together on Christmas morning!

8.    Drive around and look at Christmas lights together with hot chocolate. Seriously, what’s better than seeing some fancy houses with amazing Christmas light displays while drinking hot chocolate? Not much, I would say.

9.    Read the Christmas story together. We love the Christmas season, and even more so the REASON for the season. It’s easy to get caught up in the busy-ness and even the fun things to do, but it’s good to slow down and really remember why we celebrate Christmas…the birth of Christ!

10.  Visit Arizona! This one won’t be done before Christmas, but we hope to visit my family in Arizona around the beginning of January and celebrate Christmas with everyone then!

While it might seem silly to plan out things like this, I absolutely love it. It gives us things to focus on and be intentional about, and we are creating traditions for our family and how we spend the holidays together and the memories we make from that will be priceless!

What’s one of your favorite holiday traditions that’s on your “to do” list this year?

Marriage Tip #3

“Laughter is the best medicine!”

You have probably heard this quote a thousand times. Even though it is a well-worn saying, I have found it to be quite true! And even more true in marriage. Laughter is truly the best medicine in marriage.

That is my third marriage tip…Laugh together!

In our almost one year of marriage, Zach and I have found a lot of things to laugh at together. Some were fun adventures, some were hilarious stories told my each other or family members, some laughs were shared over difficult situations where there was nothing left to do but laugh and move on.

Of course there is a proper time to laugh, and a time not to laugh. I’m sure we have all been in situations that merit both responses. But, in marriage, I have seen the importance of being intentional about laughing together. Sometimes it is easy, others, it is not.

There are a lot of truly dark and negative things in our world. Stress, work, and life can get in the way of our joy and steal our ability to laugh at times. In marriage, if you don’t take the time to laugh together, it can add extra stress, or just remove the spark that was there.

Laughter is a simple, yet powerful thing.

When you intentionally set aside time to be together, play together, adventure together, and make memories, you create the opportunity and space to laugh, cry, and grow. You don’t always have to be laughing, but the important value behind laughter is the shared memory and intimacy you have with your spouse.

Laughter creates a bond. Remember some of your old inside jokes, think back on funny memories and share your favorite with your spouse. Make a date to do something together that makes you smile. Make new memories and inside jokes. Relive one of your first dates that you had together, or find a new favorite place together!

Lay off the seriousness and stress of life intentionally and find joy with your spouse! Remember that laughter is the best medicine!

What’s one thing about your spouse that makes you smile?

Marriage Tip #2

Last week I introduced a series of blogs that will continue to pop up over this next season called Marriage Tips! Today is brought to you by our second marriage tip…Date night!

If you have read some of my previous blog posts, you may have seen this pop up in there before on more than one occasion. That’s because this is something that Zach and I are really passionate about, and something that we have made a priority in our lives and in our marriage.

Let’s get something clear right away though. When I say “date night” I don’t mean that is always has to be this grand, extraordinary thing where you dress to the nines, go out to the fanciest restaurant in town and buy a hundred dollar bottle of wine. That’s a good way to go broke if you did that every week. Fancy date nights are GREAT on occasion, and really fun, too!

But when I refer to date night, I mean planning quality time and intentionally setting aside that time together, and doing something fun together!

As newly weds who are working on paying off debt and getting a good foundation set for the rest of our lives of being good stewards, we have become the masters of creatively cheap or free date nights, and let me tell you, they are just as much fun as the fancy ones, and can be really memorable!

The key with date night is the intention of it. Before you’re married, you go on dates to spend intentional, quality time together. You are learning about each other, making memories together. When you get married, you spend every day together. You’re around each other a lot. So it can feel like date night isn’t really necessary, because after all, you’re still together and doing stuff.

This is true. And if you don’t have date night, you’re not a horrible person or doomed for life. But there are great benefits for setting aside the intentional date night.

1.    It gives you something to look forward to every week. Zach and I take turns planning what our date nights will be, and swap every week. That way he gets to surprise me with his plans, and I get to surprise him.

2.    You carve out intentional, quality time and NAME IT your date night. Even if you are doing things you may already do before, when you give it a name, and you are intentional about WHAT YOU ARE DOING in that time space (aka not playing on the phone, flipping through channels or getting distracted with other things), you find that even the simple things in life are worth celebrating together.

3.    You continue to learn about your spouse. And this is so important. We are all learning and growing, especially in marriage. I don’t know about you, but I know that I have grown a TON since being married. God is teaching me something new every day. Learn about your spouse, and grow with them! Date night is a great way to tune in and connect with each other.

4.    It can help rekindle the flame. Having quality, intentional time together can help you reconnect in a really special way and remind you just how much you love your spouse.

5.    You get to be creative together! Having date night lets you come up with fun, creative ideas together. Who knows, maybe you’ll find your new favorite restaurant, or find a new hobby together!

6.    You protect and build your marriage. When you prioritize time with your spouse, you are demonstrating that they are important to you, and that you matter. Actions speak louder than words, and having a date night can grow your marriage in new ways, and protect harmful things from creeping in the back door.

In short, PRIORITIZE time with each other! Do whatever it takes to MAKE TIME for each other. Yes, it may be difficult when schedules are busy. But, if it is important to you, you will make time for it, just like anything else in life. Remember that your marriage is THAT important, and that your spouse is THAT important.

If you need some date night ideas, here is a link to past date night ideas that Zach and I have used!

When is YOUR date night?