Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Marriage Tip #2

Last week I introduced a series of blogs that will continue to pop up over this next season called Marriage Tips! Today is brought to you by our second marriage tip…Date night!

If you have read some of my previous blog posts, you may have seen this pop up in there before on more than one occasion. That’s because this is something that Zach and I are really passionate about, and something that we have made a priority in our lives and in our marriage.

Let’s get something clear right away though. When I say “date night” I don’t mean that is always has to be this grand, extraordinary thing where you dress to the nines, go out to the fanciest restaurant in town and buy a hundred dollar bottle of wine. That’s a good way to go broke if you did that every week. Fancy date nights are GREAT on occasion, and really fun, too!

But when I refer to date night, I mean planning quality time and intentionally setting aside that time together, and doing something fun together!

As newly weds who are working on paying off debt and getting a good foundation set for the rest of our lives of being good stewards, we have become the masters of creatively cheap or free date nights, and let me tell you, they are just as much fun as the fancy ones, and can be really memorable!

The key with date night is the intention of it. Before you’re married, you go on dates to spend intentional, quality time together. You are learning about each other, making memories together. When you get married, you spend every day together. You’re around each other a lot. So it can feel like date night isn’t really necessary, because after all, you’re still together and doing stuff.

This is true. And if you don’t have date night, you’re not a horrible person or doomed for life. But there are great benefits for setting aside the intentional date night.

1.    It gives you something to look forward to every week. Zach and I take turns planning what our date nights will be, and swap every week. That way he gets to surprise me with his plans, and I get to surprise him.
2.    You carve out intentional, quality time and NAME IT your date night. Even if you are doing things you may already do before, when you give it a name, and you are intentional about WHAT YOU ARE DOING in that time space (aka not playing on the phone, flipping through channels or getting distracted with other things), you find that even the simple things in life are worth celebrating together.
3.    You continue to learn about your spouse. And this is so important. We are all learning and growing, especially in marriage. I don’t know about you, but I know that I have grown a TON since being married. God is teaching me something new every day. Learn about your spouse, and grow with them! Date night is a great way to tune in and connect with each other.
4.    It can help rekindle the flame. Having quality, intentional time together can help you reconnect in a really special way and remind you just how much you love your spouse.
5.    You get to be creative together! Having date night lets you come up with fun, creative ideas together. Who knows, maybe you’ll find your new favorite restaurant, or find a new hobby together!
6.    You protect and build your marriage. When you prioritize time with your spouse, you are demonstrating that they are important to you, and that you matter. Actions speak louder than words, and having a date night can grow your marriage in new ways, and protect harmful things from creeping in the back door.

In short, PRIORITIZE time with each other! Do whatever it takes to MAKE TIME for each other. Yes, it may be difficult when schedules are busy. But, if it is important to you, you will make time for it, just like anything else in life. Remember that your marriage is THAT important, and that your spouse is THAT important.

If you need some date night ideas, here is a link to past date night ideas that Zach and I have used!

When is YOUR date night?


  1. Keep this tradition even AFTER you have children. Most people put their children before their spouse, and lose track of each other's needs. Remember ~after the kids are all grown..all you have is each other. So love them even more when the children come, make them feel special too. I have made that mistake in my marriage. I never had anyone tell me any different. I never really had an example of a good marriage in my life. After being together for 24 years we are still learning. The best parents show love and affection for each other around their children. It makes them feel secure and loved also.

    1. Such a GREAT piece of advice for sure!!! That is something that Zach and I have definitely talked about...putting priority on our marriage, especially after we start our family. It is such a great example and testimony to have that loving example for your kids!

  2. I am a firm believer in date nights! They truly are the secret sauce to marriage. Just make sure you are intentional and put it on the calendar because that will ensure you keep doing it!

    1. Love that Mandy! Date nights are definitely the secret sauce :) That's a great tip to write it on the calendar too. I know now it's easy for us, we have the same night set aside every week, but I know when we have our family, it will definitely be going on the calendar...in sharpie, haha! :)