Marriage Tip #17

Really, this should be called life tip #17, because whether you are married, or single, this tip applies to you. To all of us. Myself and Zach included.

It is something that has come up recently when Zach and I talk about how we can love each other better and what we can do for our marriage.

The tip?

Unplug.

I have talked about this topic before, but it really is that important and it also has been in our hearts lately so I wanted to share the tip with you, too!

In our culture, everything is at our fingertips, so it seems. In even writing this blog post from my phone. We have more access to knowledge and information than ever before. We have more "connections" than ever before.

But that advantage so often becomes our disadvantage. And it can be damaging on relationships.

You can see it practically everywhere you go. People "multitasking" while on their phone. Go to a restaurant and count how many times you see people looking at their phones while in conversation with someone else.

And I am just as guilty, mind you! Though because I am aware of it, Zach and I are both very intentional about our time together.

Our tip is to take time to unplug. Put your phone away while on a date. In fact, leave it at home. Remember how we used to get along fine without a phone on us when we went out? It is possible.

This week Zach and I are taking a week off of TV and not watching and shows or movies. Just a personal choice, we never watch it excessively, but we want to be intentional about our time together.

Removing the distraction of technology gives way to more creativity together! Explore and adventure together. Discover new things, find things out the old fashioned way. Communicate face to face, eye to eye, heart to heart.

Take a bath together, read a book, build a fire. Go camp for a night or just set up your tent in the backyard. Have an uninterrupted coffee date. Make dinner together.

Technology is not evil by any means. It is a fantastic tool. But we have to be intentional in our lives and especially in our marriages, and make way for intentional, face to face, uninterrupted time for each other.

Will you unplug?

Creative Date Night Ideas

Recently a friend asked me what were some of my date night ideas, and it got my wheels turning from things that Zach and I have done in the past, and ones that we want to do in the future. Since I love being creative and sharing it with you all, I thought I would compile a list of creative date night ideas for you to show you that it doesn't have to cost a lot to spend quality, intentional time with your sweetheart!

I cannot stress enough how important quality time is. In the day and age of technology, iPhones, iPads, iTouch, iMini, iThis and iThat, actual facetime can be hard to come by. But please, carve out time for the loved ones in your life. Real, meaningful, face to face time. I promise the investment is well worth it.

A few of these ideas I may have mentioned in my blog about surprising your spouse, and also a few from my blog about dating your spouse. But today I wanted to dig in a little deeper to make a list of some creative date night (or day) ideas for you and your significant other to try.

So, let's get this started!

1. Dine in at home. This one can be done any number of ways to fit your current budget. But every once in a while, Zach and I like to order take out from a favorite restaurant, fancy up our own table with candles, fancy glasses and dishes, and eat our take out food at home! It's fun to switch up the atmosphere and have a romantic dinner at home that you don't always have to cook!

2. Cook your own gourmet meal (or any kind of meal!). On the same coin, try cooking a gourmet meal together! Zach and I love to cook together. Find a few recipes that you want to try. Make an appetizer, a salad, a main course, side dish, and of course, dessert. You can have as many courses as you want, just get creative! Although, if you make a lot of courses, I recommend small portions, otherwise you will stuff yourself! But plan your menu, go shopping together for the ingredients, come home and cook, and make your own candle light dinner!

3. Take a hike. This is another one of our favorites. We both love to be outdoors, and Georgia has a lot of beautiful state parks. We have our favorite parks, and ones we haven't been to yet. Zach and I try to find the quiet places and just sit and talk after we've walked around, and breath in the fresh air and be at peace. Most state parks only cost a few dollars to park, so check what's around you and go explore!

4. Go swimming! Quick, while the warm weather is still holding out, go for a dip with your honey! I love the water, and it's always more fun to me to swim with someone else instead of just floating around by yourself. Find a lake, a community pool, or if you live near the beach, go there!

5. Visit the place that you first met or went on a date to. Zach and I try to do this every so often and return to the place that we met and had our first date. It's a fun way to look back at how far we have come, and ask each other what we can do better to love one another going forward.

6. Have a coffee date at home! Speaking of first dates, ours was at a coffee shop. We try to still have coffee dates often, but sometimes it's better to save money. So, create your own coffee shop at home! Get two cups of joe brewing and set up the fixings. You can clear off your kitchen table, grab your favorite pastries or loaf of fresh bread from the store, or make your own treat, put on a coffee shop station from Pandora or Spotify, and have fun with it!

7. Sweat together. Get active together! Do a workout together, or go on that hike, play a game outside, go for a long walk, or anything to get your heart pumping. Getting active is important in your individual life, and it's a lot of fun doing it with your spouse too!

8. Visit a nearby town and find a new spot you've never explored before. Living in Atlanta there are quite a few little suburb towns around, and it's fun to go exploring in them every once in a while. We've found a lot of great hole in the wall places that way, and it always makes for fun adventures. Take silly pictures and walk around the town, make some memories!

9. Play a board game, or have a game night together! Zach and I love some board games. Our favorite is probably Scrabble, and we play it quite a bit. It's always a lot of fun to play a game with someone you love. Make a night of it by having a picnic on the floor while you play, and have a prize for whoever wins at the end.

10. Visit a library or bookstore together and learn something new! Go to a bookstore or the library and each find a few books on things that interest you. Come together and learn something new together while you're there! There's always tons of great things to see in bookstores, and learning together is a lot of fun.

There you have it. Just a very few ideas that you can take and make your own memories with! Honestly, there are so many things you can do together. Consider your interests, and that of your spouses and find ways to incorporate those into your date nights! They don't have to be expensive or extravagant- those are nice to have- but the key is quality time spent with the one you love.

So let's hear from you now! What are some of your go to favorite date night ideas? Let me know below!

Dreaming With Your Spouse

Today was one of those days that was like a deep breath in and a deep sigh out. A day for writing, laughing, lounging, rocking on a porch and talking about dreams and goals. My husband and I typically have one day off entirely together, and today was that day.

I absolutely love the conversations that we have. While we were in the car driving today, he put up with and answered silly questions that come to my mind like "if you could live in any historical era, what would it be?" and "if you could visit any ancient civilization, what would it be?". We actually had some great discussion from it.

Perhaps one of my favorite topics of discussion though is dreaming and goal setting. I am a goal person for sure. At the beginning of the week, month and year I create lists, dreams and goals that I want to accomplish. All you have to do is come over to our apartment and you'll see them plastered on the fridge and on the walls.

Today was one of those days that my husband and I sat out on a porch, the cool summer breeze blowing by as the clouds rumored of a storm. We rocked in the classical southern rocking chairs, and we talked about our dreams and goals together.

Where we see ourselves in the next two years, what we want to accomplish, who we want to help, how we want to bless others, what we will be doing, and so on. Now, I am the first to tell you that God is in the business of the unexpected. I know that my plans and dreams are fully in his hands, and I will accept his guidance.

But I also think that it's important to always be moving forward with a goal in mind. I am so thankful for a husband who is willing to sit down and set goals with me, and ask me what we want our goals to be. If you have never set goals with your spouse, I would really encourage you to try. It doesn't have to be huge, in fact, it can just start small.

Here are a few questions that my husband and I regularly ask each other to hear each other's hearts, and to set and track our goals for the future.

1. What's one thing I can do to love you better this week?

2. What's one goal that you want to accomplish together this month?

3. What's one tangible thing I can do this week that will show my love for you?

4. What do you see for the next year for us? 

5. What's one thing you want to do together in the next six months?

These are just some basic questions that we ask each other. Our answers change and vary. They can be as simple as having the other write a note or give an extra hug to show our love and appreciation. Our goals can vary from paying something off to taking a hike at a place we've been talking about.

Dreaming together and building your lives together is so important. And communication about those topics creates intimacy. I really encourage you to ask just one question and both answer it for each other. See each other's hearts and set a goal that you can both push for together.

What are some of your big dreams? Share one below!