Monday, April 6, 2015

Marriage Tip #16

Let's talk about something for a minute here. Now, I realize that this is a very hot button topic. Very taboo, especially in certain circles. It can be awkward to talk about. But these are some of the reasons that I am passionate about it.

Let's talk about sex.

Yikes. Yup, I said SEX.

It's more than a three letter word, it's more than a one night stand, and it is absolutely more than a physical act. And I wish it was talked about more in the right context and in the right light. I wish the truth was shed on it more.

I heard a fantastic quote, I can't remember where or who said it, but it stuck with me, and it is the topic of our marriage tip tonight. The quote is this...

"Satan tries everything to get you to have sex before marriage, and he tries everything to get you to not have sex when you are married."

Y'all. Let's be real. I could write a book about my feelings on what "sex" is in our culture and how it has been hijacked to mean something totally different. Ask people and many will say that sex is just Intercourse. Two people in a physical act. It's really not a big deal, everyone does it.

How has something so beautiful been so marred?

In marriage, sex and INTIMACY have been dumbed down. Sex in marriage has been made to be this boring thing, something that husbands grumble about because their wives are "too tired." Intimacy is overlooked in favor of other distractions. True vulnerability, intimacy and closeness is being lost. And the consequences of that can be huge.

Now we are not going to get into the nitty gritty details here. I believe what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom, because it is a safe place, and that is true for Zach and I's marriage. The bedroom is our place, and our intimacy is sacred and special to us.

But the whole point of this tip is to challenge you to really look at your intimate life with your spouse. Do you find yourself shying away from sex and intimacy? Or do you delight in its joys?

Put a top priority on intimacy with your spouse! This doesn't always mean sex, like I said, intimacy is much more than just the physical aspect of sex, although that is an important key. Intimacy is being open, vulnerable and connected with your spouse, and that can happen through many things, sex included.

When you place a priority on intimacy, that openness creates trust, safety, and connection. Isn't it just the most relieving feeling in the world to be balanced and on the same page with your spouse? That feeling of calm and peace? Intimacy creates that. Intimacy fosters that, grows it, and nurtures that.

Honestly, I really could go on and on on this topic of sex. I could take it a thousand different topical directions. But the bottom line is that sex and intimacy in marriage is absolutely vital. Find a way to make it a priority in your marriage and protect that time. It's not something dirty or to be hidden in the dark, or a chore to be checked off and completed. God created it to be a sacred and special time for a husband and wife to connect and be one. One in body, heart, spirit and life.

Don't wait for a time to present itself. Make time.

How do you protect intimate time with your spouse? Brainstorm some ways you can put boundaries around the time you have together and guard that time jealously!

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